What grade would you give my history paper, and any tips to make it better?Specify! PART I?

Crack! A bullet whipped through the air and connected with an eight year old girl鈥檚 chest. She crumpled to the ground. When the ambulance and the police arrived, the bandit had run off, and the girl was pronounced dead. This happens in our country every day. Clearly, guns are very dangerous and violent weapons, and should be controlled.
Eight teenagers and children die every day in America, or 2920 each year. In total, 29,000 Americans die each year from gun shots. Deaths like these occur in our streets, homes, and schools. The massacre at Virginia Tech is a perfect example of such violence. Many were slaughtered, and if guns were controlled better, maybe that college kid wouldn鈥檛 have gotten the gun. The former White House Press Secretary, Jim Brady, who was critically injured during an assassination attempt on Ronald Reagan, said 鈥淓ver since I was shot, I have watched from my wheelchair as the gun lobby blocked one sane handgun after another.鈥?What would have happened if Reagan鈥檚

This is the first part of 4!! I have a rebuttal later.

A total of 80 children under the age of 15 die a year from gun shot wounds. This does not happen everyday. Your first paragraph is a lie.

http://www.guncite.com/gun_control_gcgva...

I have some bad news for you. The Brady Campaign website is not a reliable source for information. It is all skewed propaganda made up of lies and half truths much like FOX news. You need to cite some reliable sources and show that you've researched this topic a little more.

If I was your teacher I would give you a "C"

F-

It's a one sided rant that blames an inanimate object for criminal activity.

Who in the hell are you or anyone else to tell me--a law abiding citizen--that I can't own firearms?

1st--I agree in part with Troll....So far this is a one sided event.
However, the opening statement has nothing to do with the history or firearms. It would be better if you opened with "Guns are proven to be dangerous and violent weapons. Eight teenagers and children....". Only the media called the tragedy at VT a massacre and I could not call it a "perfect example". How many were killed? (Slaughtered was never used in the media, to my knowledge). What college kid? You present statistics but leave out information critical to your paper. You misquoted Brady.

While you are at it. Take away the police firearms. It seems Englands street police do not have firearms (although they are trained to use them). Have you considered what would happen if citizens could not protect themselves from a simple robbery. No guns---violent crime with knives, clubs, whatever would run rampant. There were more firearms per household when Lincolon was shot than when Reagan, but no one yelled for them to give up their guns. Why, I wonder?

lol an F- thats harsh. Well I dont know what your essay was supposed to be focused on, just about how gun control should be made stricter?

Also, I wouldnt use Slaughtered as a term to describe what happened at V-Tech, its too dramatic...also, it wasnt just about the fact that he obtained the gun in whatever way he got it, people noticed his symptoms but didnt do much about it neither...negligence and product of society...but so far I would give your paper like a 75 until u give more details, u can add to wut u posted theres an option where the word Reagan is..