Help! What can I do when my friend is emotionally and mentally incompetent and her spouse is dumping her?

Her emotionally and verbally abusive husband of 22 years has siphoned off all the equity from the house, found a girlfriend and wants to dump my friend with half the marital debt (from loans he has taken out lately). After being a stay-at-home housewife for all those years, she went back to PT work and earns $150 a week from which she pays for her own food and expenses. He even demands rent, etc. Now that he has a girlfriend, he wants her gone. She is so incapable of doing anything for herself except for showing up for a simple grocery store job and is nearing breakdown. He says he will not pay alimony or give her half the pension (which he can't do by law, I know) and he wants to go through mediation to have her agree. She is so fearful she will do it. She mentioned thoughts of suicide.

How can I help prevent her from being thrown on the streets with nothing? How can I help her?

By the way, we have documentation of his anger problems (he broke a co-worker's jaw, his meds, etc.)

Contact your local "legal services", they're sometimes free or sliding scale. Get her to talk to someone about her legal rights. Then try the local mental health services to see if they could help.

You cannot answer this for her. Just be there to support her, but get in touch with a lawyer and any women's support groups you can find.

She can't be THAT incompetent, can she?? If she doesn't go out and get a lawyer and file for divorce, then there's nothing you can do to help her.

Have his leg broken by a masked man.. need a phone number?

Yes, if she has mentioned suicide at all - make sure she gets professional help for that - everything else is secondary.

i had to see someone that was there too. and i went and got her a attorney for getting her the house and i worked. she was in a divorce and didn't know her rights to keep the house and so i had to get it all done and when the lawyer had all the papers done. i went to her and said you come with me and sign your name and everything is yours and the was history and she was okay after that

That sounds awful and it's so hard to see someone going through something like this.
I think the most important thing is to NOT PUT YOUR OWN SANITY AT RISK.
It's so easy to get caught up in other people's drama's and then your health and your life can suffer because of it.
If you are able to help and stay 'emotionally detached' then that is good, but do not get sucked into a void where you are constantly thinking about her and worrying about her. Your own life will suffer.
This is her life and she needs to sort it.
You are not responsible FOR her.

I think you can support her emotionally and encourage her, but I would be cautious about having any more involvement than that.

Good luck and if you have concerns of suicide, I don't know what to do, except I would be asking for help from my own friends, because that is a heavy weight to deal with on your own.
I would probably encourage her to get some sort of professional help.

have her bring her documentation with her. Also, you can get an advocate from a domestic violence project to support her in court. Keep doing what your doing, she needs your support as a friend. The worst thing she can do is isolate herself in anyway.

I would bring her out for a night on the town, to show her what she has been missing. Let her know that life will go on, and it will probably get better than she ever new it could be.

It would also help her to get her onvolved in a domestic violence support group, just so she doesn't have to feel alone. Let her know, that there is nothing wrong with her, but it is normal to feel this way, when you are treated so bad, by someone you gave so much of your life to. Let her know she it is better to be alone, then to be treated like this. No one deserves to be treated like this. When my grandfather died, the last thing he told my grandmother, was he wished he never married her, and he waisted his life with her. She is 87 years old now. It broke her heart, and she deserved so much better. She is humble, and catered to his every need, beck and call. But even at 87, she is living her life, like, way more than i live my life. She is really strong.