How to get money back from an ex-fianc茅?

My fianc茅 was in the military and was stationed overseas for one year and on a US base for two more. During that time I paid some of his credit card bills and car insurance. While he was stationed on the US base, he asked to borrow money. I took money that I was saving for my own car and I loaned him $2,000. When he left the army I stood by him through nightmares, post traumatic stress and a stay in the psychiatric ward. Now that we've broken up he says that he will only give me half. I've asked him to make monthly payments and he tells me that he's not sure of when he'll be able to start. I think that he will put me off for months. I am not sure of how good a chance I will have in small claims court because we never had anything in writing. I do have a paper trail of the transfer of funds from my account to his. At one point in our relationship, he signed some blank checks and gave me permission to use them. Am I breaking the law if I use one of these checks to repay my loan to him?

Hi KW, he told me to use the checks if I needed them. They were for any expenses that came up on my behalf, not his.

YES, you would be breaking the law do not write out a check whatever you do. You will be in trouble for Fraud and forgery.

Jail time and fines way more than 2,000.

Take him to small claims court.

bring witnesses if you can ...


It would be your word against his in court but If it makes sense by the proponderance of the evidence the judge may award your judgement for the loan.

Good luck Girl!

Here is the problem that I see. For one, this was your fiance and I am sure the judge MAY find it hard to believe that you "loaned" him the money since you do not have any proof. Were you two living together prior to his leave? How was the bills being paid before (I.e. whose money).

In regards to the blank checks, what did HE say to use them for?

Take him to court!

Yes because when you broke up it broke a legal bond AND how do you know what he has in his bank? you cant withdraw money that isnt there

depending on what state you live in but in most states yes it is illegal for you to use those checks, if the accounts are closed or have insufficent funds you could be charged with uttering of a check.(generally it s a misdeamnor charge). youll probly have a decent chance in small claims court but all of your transactions are by word of mouth. some states will look at it in the sense that you were engaged, so maybe you gave him that money maybe as a gift?good luck with this

I wouldn't use one of his checks to repay yourself.

You need some proof that the money you gave him or paid on his behalf was a loan. You were engaged at the time, and it's not unreasonable to think you would have given him that money not expecting to be paid back, and now that you've ended your relationship you want your dough. I would too. When you're engaged or just in love, you do things in good faith that you wouldn't do if you were in your right mind! You wouldn't lend someone money without documentation that it's a loan and they're going to pay it back in this manner by this date.

Now you have to find a way to prove that you loaned him the money rather than gave him the money.

If you use his check, you could have a problem since they were given to you to use for his benefit during a time he was unable to handle his finances because he was on active duty. That makes him a very sympathetic opponent in court, if it came to that. It's commendable that you stood by him, but look at all he had to endure.

If you can't work things out with him, you'll probably end up writing this off to experience, and next time you lend someone money, you'll CYA instead of being a nice guy.

Do not use the blank checks! You would not be using them in the manner intended and it will muddy the waters even more. His behavior is not ethical or mature. You will need to take him to court (small claims?) to get your unsecured "loans" back. The judge will look at whether you had a reasonable expectation, at the time you made the payments and the loans, of whether you could reasonably expect repayment. The judge may find you acted from the goodness of your heart with the expectation of a long term relationship. Look over your situation carefully and decide if it is really worth it and you base motivation(s). ........ . .. . . . FYI My rule of thumb when I loan/give money to friends or family is this: I never loan money if I expect or need it to be repaid. I am always glad I helped somebody in need... and if it comes back , GREAT. If I really need the money back, I don't loan/give it to begin with. Good luck.