Help with custody?

my boyfriend and i recently had a baby girl together. things didnt end up working out between us so i moved back home. he was never home for the baby or i, he would always go out with his friends to smoke weed. he would come home very late every night or sometimes not at all. he was like this while i was pregnant also. now he wants to take me to court to get visitation rights. a few problems i have with that is (1)once the baby was born he quit his job (2)he let her go without health insurance (3)i have over 50 text messages from him where he calls me names (4)i also have texts where its one day "i love you come back" and the next "i hate you, you whore" (5)he told me he was willing to sign his rights away - i just wish i had that in writing because thats pretty much my word against his. any advice on what i can do with this situation? honestly i would love to win full legal and physical custody, but i just dont know if i have enough to win that.

If he takes you to court to get visitation rights, then at the hearing you can request child support (the judge will not grant him parental rights without imposing parental responsibilities).

If family courts treated mothers and fathers equally, you SHOULDN'T have a chance to win full custody unless he is an abusive danger to the child. But depending on your state, the mother pretty much has to be either in prison or dead to lose sole custody, so realistically you may have enough. Otherwise, you can't force a father to sign his rights away, only the court can terminate them if they decide he is a threat to the safety of the child.

Your daughter's health insurance is YOUR responsibility if you are the custodial parent, never rely on anyone else for it. You may think it's unfair if you don't get full legal and physical custody, and it may indeed be.

But unfair to WHO; you, him, or her? Remember, you CHOSE this man to father your child. And choices, as I hope you are quickly learning, have consequences.

You may not agree with what i have to say but i think you should allow him to be a part of the baby's life. Yes, he screwed up but i think it's really stupid to use the baby to punish him because in the long run the only one who ends up hurt is the baby. I do think you as the mother should get custody, but I also think the father should get visitation rights for the sake of the baby. My advice would be to not be selfish and think about the baby's well being rather than thinking only about what you want.