When you are already paying child support why do you have to pay for cosmetic stuff vs. needed stuff?

My husband and I pay the x-wife $1000 a month in child support as well as provide a house with their own rooms here and have the children 4 days a week. Currently the oldest daughter wants to live with her mom full time because the mother is promising her a new Lexus with the child support money. We also pay 1/2 of the unpaid medical expenses. Right now the x-wife is taking the oldest daughter to the dentist weekly and has accrued $4000 in dental expenses. I personally think that they are providing her veneers and wants us to pay 1/2 in addition to the $1000 and the health insurance premiums that we pay. At what point is the money already being provided not used for extra expenses like this. I do not think this is medically necessary that it is about trying to squeeze every last cent she can out of us. I also found out that she has been double insured and gets reimbursed from us, both insurance companies, then deducts the origninal cost from taxes. Any advise

This has 2 parts. As for the insurance issues, if she is falsifying documents - there is a legal issue there beyond child support. I'm pretty sure that if it isn't medically necessary, it doesn't fall under 'medical expenses'. if the insurance company isn't covering it - you might not have to either.

As for the child support payment itself, it is to assist in providing necessities for your children. As long as your children are recieving those necessities, what she does with the money is irrelevent. She could just as easily say she's using the child support check to pay the mortgage and the food, and use the money from her own funds to pay for the Lexus. Now, if they aren't getting the basic necessities - despite the fact she has a Lexus - you might have some basis for complaint -ie she has an awesome car, but no food in the kitchen and holes in her shoes.

Does your state have a 'Child Support' department? In Iowa it's called "Child Support Recovery Unit" If so, have your husband go and ask there. Make sure he doesn't have 'attitude' when he goes in and only expresses confusion and concern, how can she be double insured, do I have to pay for unnecessary cosmetic dental work without being consulted? Check the divorce decree to see what the judge ordered and take a copy with you. In Iowa CSRU can collect child support and enforce insurance obligations. (This is sometimes a very slow process as the laws give alot of leeway to the owing parent - but in this case you are the owe-es owers ) And no matter how well meaning you are.... step back and let your husband handle it, it is his responsibility. Good luck

If what you say is happening is the truth, then it sounds like you and your husband need to go back to court, but only if he wants to. You knew when you married him what you were getting into.

Also, kudos to you for actually paying child support. I just went to court for the 6th time, and my x still owes over $5,000. I don't ask him to pay for medical insurance, dental insurance, or day care. He is required to pay $100 a week and doesn't pay any of it.

There are some women out there who would take advantage. Have you both tried to sit down and talk about it?I agree with you that this is ENOUGH. She is abusing your funds every chance she gets. Just think only 2 more years and you won't have to pay anymore. How sad that the children's mother is behaving this way...

FIrst of all, you and your husband are NOT paying the child support. HE IS.

As to the reimbursement from her insurance, that is an issue you need to address with a motion to modify. If your husband can prove that she is falcifying documentation, he can ask the court to find her in contempt of levy charges of fraud against the court.

YOU, on the other hand, have no standing to do anything.

The final divorce decree states exactly what you are resposible for. If she wastes the child support on things other than the children and all the various things it takes takes to maintain a home and their needs you might get the court or CPS to look into it but most likely you will pay whatever the decree says.Courts do not have the time or will to mitigate personal disagreemets.If you suspect that she is collecting money illegally report it to the court in which the divorce was handled as well as the insurance company. Good luck! I've been there.