Would you consider this elder abuse?

My sister gave her son and his ex lots and lots of money every month for 16 years in fear that if she did not she would not be able to see her Grandchildren. I talked her into stopping the flow of of money and now he refuses to let her see them or speak to them. She is heart broken and he won't budge.Now the kids aren't even allowed to acept a gift from her. She tried but he didn't even tell them a package came. he tossed it. I think it should be reported as Elder emotional abuse. What does anyone else think?

the guy is definitely a grade a a**hole, and you can report him if it makes you feel better, but the authorities don't have any power in this situation. too bad though.


now, for twenty bucks, i'll get him in the kneecap with a bat for ya.

(no, not really.)

It is awful behavior but doesn't rise to elder abuse. Might more appropriately fit as co-dependency on her end.

What are the reasons behind this bizarre behavior? Why did the grandmother have such a fear to begin with, which actually turned out to be a justified fear? What does the son have against his mother?

thats crule!

it takes two here in this case.

stop trying to control people and they won't in turn try to control you.

Ahh, you gotta love "family".

I think it's abusive, yes. But the chances of any authority doing anything about it are slim to none. Sorry.

I do not think it is abuse of the elder, but it is abuse of the kids. she needs to take the son to court, they now routinely give grandparents visitation.......and I do not think she will have a fight. it is routine in most cases unless there is abuse involved. once she tells the story of the money.....that will tilt things in her favor. anyway if the son is so desperate for money he is using his kids to blackmail his mother, he will nto have the money to fight her in court over visitation. sue him....the grandmother will win visitation rights!!!!!!!!!!

Unfortunately, that isn't elder abuse, even though it's terribly wrong. But many courts are recognizing grandparent's rights to visitation, and her rights could be enforced in that manner. Find a family law attorney.

YOU KNOW THERE IS SOMETHING CALLED GRANDPARETS RIGHTS CHECK IN TO THAT SHE WILL C THEM THEN

Elder abuse is a single or repeated act or lack of appropriate action, occurring within any relationship where there is an expectation of trust, which causes harm or distress to an older person.

There are six main type of abuse of the elderly:

Physical: e.g. hitting, punching, slapping, burning, pushing, restraining or giving too much medication or the wrong medication
Psychological: e.g. shouting, swearing, frightening, blaming, ignoring or humiliating a person, also common is threatening to place the person in a nursing home even though the person's physical or mental condition may not require such
Financial: e.g. illegal or unauthorised use of a person鈥檚 property, money, pension book or other valuables (including changing the person's will to name the abuser as heir), often fraudulently obtaining power of attorney, followed by deprivation of money or other property, or by eviction from own home.
Sexual: e.g. forcing a person to take part in any sexual activity without his or her consent
Neglect: e.g. where a person is deprived of food, heat, clothing or comfort or essential medication
Rights abuse, by denying the civil and constitutional rights of people who are old, but not declared by court to be mentally incapable.

That is sick.. but what law is really being broken here but the Grandmother's heart? They only thing you can hope for is that the kids grow up find out what jerks there parents really were and give her some attention in her last remaining years.
You might even find a family that would be grateful for gifts from an adopting grandma.. they do have agencies that will do that. She can give her love and gifts to someone who will be grateful.. it take all types to make a world.

It takes two to have a marriage. You haven't mentioned the daughters participation in this matter. Talk to her and if she goes along with her husband then take them to court and get visitation rights. The kids are the ones missing out. He sounds like a dick and your sister is running a close second.

She was foolish to give all that money to them every month for all those years. She paid them so she could see her grandchildren, again, foolish.They (the son and his ex-wife) sound like a couple of low lifes if they accepted the money and depended on it. Now she came to her senses and stopped the payments. Thank God for that! She now has to face the consequences of it all by not seeing her grandchildren. That son definitely does not love and respect his mother and those kids probably don't either. The ex-wife is some ***** probably.Maybe it's just best that she not try to do anything. Stay away because her son is really not her son. To reach her grandchildren, she has to see him and that does not sound like a good idea. There is only self-abuse here, she did this to herself. Pray about it, pray for the son, the ex-wife and the grandchildren, put it in God's hands because there is really nothing else anyone on this earth can do right now.

I'm not sure if it would be considered "elder abuse" but there is such a thing as "grandparents rights". This is when a grandparent/s goes to family court to fight for visitation rights with their grandchildren. You can try to speak with someone in your local social services dept. for more information.

Get an attorneys advice.