Does this paragraph make sense should i change anything HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP?

Barbara Ehrenreich's final statement in the book is essentially correct. It is an advertisement of sorts for the working class who are, through their efforts, the workhorses of society. In 鈥淏orn Poor and Smart鈥? the writer Angela Locke, has a great point when she states 鈥渙ne way that cooperation works with class is that intelligence is scorned within the ranks of the poor鈥?(502), because if they were more intelligent, they'd figure out that there is no need for them to suffer so. Unions, trade schools, government grants, welfare, etc, are all designed to lessen the stranglehold of corporations upon the common people. This is why so many corporations are so determined to 鈥渆xsanguinate鈥?government. In my opinion religion is what keeps the poor from killing the rich. In addition to, the janitor of the school where children receive their education probably didn't go beyond grade 8. The single mother her waits tables during the day and cleans offices of a major financial corporation at night, to feed her children, not chicken and vegetables, but macaroni and cheese. Both do their part, and suffer for it, for the betterment and benefit of others. She finds difficulty in finding affordable housing. She must commute to work, because the cheaper housing is out of the city. She discusses the co-workers living arrangements are very extreme. The job does not just involve serving food. It involves restocking, sweeping, scrubbing, slicing, and refilling. The mangers monitor her behavior for signs of sloth, theft, drug abuse and worse. If you are working and stop for a moment (i.e. Reading the USA Today) the worker is assigned an even harder task.

This is my 3rd para in the body.....Should i take some stuff out???

AHHH Nickel and dimed huh???
Read that in ENG.1A
while ago....

I 'll go back and read your stuff in a minute....

Ok, First off...which paragraph is this supposed to be?

Thesis?
or conclusion or what?

***This sentence:: The single mother (HER) waits tables during the day and cleans offices of a major financial corporation at night, to feed her children, not chicken and vegetables, but macaroni and cheese"

Ok...to begin with its not to bad of an essay.

You should take out the part where you say "in my opinion religion is what keeps the poor from killing the rich" because an essay is a discussion based on the facts from the reading and your interpretation of those facts...not as much your opinion on the matter...

----The way you need to express your opinion is by suggesting what we learn or get from the reading...or how to interpret the reading .....

additionally I don't see religion even being part of the discussion in your essay....BASICALLY it doesnt fit in what your are saying and serves no purpose...

If in later paragraphs you discuss religion and socio-economics then save it for there or your transitional sentence.

....I see a lot of places where your writing needs More Clarity....for example the first sentence...."Barbara Einreich's final statement in the book is essentially correct"

You need to identify for the reader the book by name and also give the quote so then we can better understand your explanation of it as..."an advertisement .......

also your writing is a bit blocked ...meaning it doesnt flow....

an when you say advertisements of "SORTS".... you are clouding the powerfulness of your statement and it sounds to wordy....

For example say: ("In name of book") Barbara Einreich's final statement was (and give the quote...) showing the reader that the working class people of our society are like workhorses. ( you should now explain how are they like workhorses.....) For example they ...Because like workhorses, the poor or working class they are made to work until they collapse and are never rewarded for the tremendous work they perform ....(or something like that)

honey....Im gonna stop now ...but your writing is generally good....it just needs some tweeks....

The sentence where you talk about the janitor...and then the waitress is a little confusing...
and try not to make implications that janitors only finish up to the eighth grade because that is insulting and not true.

Janitors can make decent money and for alot of people who come from other countries...when they get here...their phd''s and medical licenses dont mean much....so they take whatever job they can....

If I were you, unless it is part of the story...I would take it out....

and you need more quotes or evidence fro your readings to back up your facts....

ps...signs of sloth i dont think you that is gramatically correct nor to say signs of drugs,

Your last few lines do not make too much sense.

I hope I have helped some!
and I hope your paper is not due TODAY!

probably needs to be 3 paragraphs
hard to differentiate author's opinions
from your opinion of author's opinions

if all author opinions, hard to imagine that you read a whole book of such rubbish