Computer exploded into flames?

Yeah my computer exploded into flames while I was on it last night,and I just realized that my entire porn collection was on there.Is there a way to get it back like with the CIA or FBI or something?My GF liked to watch porn with me and now she's all emo and SAED.And she's making me emo and SAED too.Any help?

After you buy a new computer, call the FBI Public Relations.

They will be happy to restore your collection for you.

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