What are the legal rights to my body and private home?

I have this sticky situation dealing with my ex-husband every time he comes by to visit my daughter at my house:

There had been several incidents in which I had asked him to pay the exact full amount as ordered by a local judge, and his temper would rise and he'd started calling evey derogatory name in the book; at other times, whenever he gets angry, he has a habit of pushing and pulling me----one time even right in front of my daughter. I have repeatedly asked him to stop it, and when he didn't, I threatened to call 911. That worked and he finally stopped.

But recently, he comes by and forces his "physical affection" on me. I have also repeatedly asked him to stop and he would not. I have also blatantly told him that his behavior made me feel really uncomfortable----because we should try to be civil for our daughter's sake, but we are not together anymore, so I don't want any "physical affection" from him. He still refuses to stop touching me in intimate ways.

I have also asked him to leave my premise and come back when he takes better control of his "hand movements." He refused. I don't have the physical strength to push him out the door. I don't even have the physical strength to push him off of my body.

Over Valentine's Day, we had another fight over the phone when I asked him for child support----again, he went off on me and called me all sorts of derogatory names. When his temper flared again, this time, I put the dead bolt on my front door, fearing that he would come over to strangle me. But I forgot to lock my balcony door, thinking it was already locked (as it's locked most of the time). When he realized he couldn't get in with the house key my dad gave him, he climbed through the side of the apartment stairs and up to my balcony and entered my house this way. I had already changed my door lock several times, but because I live my dad, he gave a copy of the house key to him EVERY time. So it was a waste of my $ & efforts.

First of all, whenever there is unwanted touching - if it's threatening (assault / domestic assault) or affectionite (sexual assault) you should call the police and report it. You have to do this to protect yourself, because if things get worse you need to have a record of what has happened. The incident where he climbed in your balcony is home invasion, and even if he has a key it's still illegal for him to enter if he's not a resident and is unwelcome.

You should never tolerate him being abusive in any way and should be getting a restraining order against him. You should be doing that immediately, in fact. Once you have a restraining order and there is a record of his abusive behavior, you should ask that he pick up / drop off your kids in a neutral place and not at your home. You may also want to mandate supervised visitation which won't be a problem if he has a history of domestic violence.

The other thing you should do is ask that he be found in contempt of court for failing to pay his full child support, and you should be reporting this each month to your caseworker. They will garnish his paycheck so child support goes directly to you and he never touches it. You will get the full amount that way and not have to argue with him about it.

Don't put up with it or think it's going to get better / not want to make it worse. This is a bad situation and it's only going to get worse. It may even end up in your death - possibly even in front of your kids. If someone is giving him your keys, you need to stop giving THAT person your keys too because they are not trustworthy.

Stop treating this like a small thing and realize that you are the model of an abused woman and the outcome will not be good for you.

EDIT: Also, if he had the abuse report filed under 'insanity', you have grounds to have him denied custody as an unfit parent. Regardles of HIPPA laws, you can still speak to the prosecutor and press charges against him for pulling those guns on you. If he's friends with the local police, call the state police instead and explain that the local police won't do anything. And don't wait for them to ask if you want to press charges, demand that you press charges against him each and every time.

Sticky situation indeed but unwanted affection can be interpreted as sexual assault. You should get a lawyer.

j

Call the police and give them a statement. They will investigate your allegations and they found them valid he would be subject to arrest.

ok get your attorney involved, you can have his paycheck attached so you don't have to ask for the money and he don't have to bring it to you, so that keeps a reason to not see you, a restrain order not to come to your house, and for him to see or pick up your daughter, it has to be in a public place, a very busy place, like a mall, where there is lots of people, and make sure you have someone in the background you know to watch also, but he don't know is there for your protection. same as when he brings her back. this way not touche, no temper there would be a witness to the fact. and if he kept it up, you can file for full cousty, he would be a violent parent and not safe for your daughter.

Number one, why is your dad giving your ex a key? I would seriously have a talk with him first and foremost. If your dad is giving him a key, you have a bit of a problem, legally. I assume that your dad owns the home, if this is correct and your dad gives him a key, you're for a lack of better terms, screwed! Your dad can legally allow anyone in his home, including your ex and that's the problem. As to your ex touching you? You will have to file assault charges against him by going to the police dept. You could also get a restraining order against him as he has physically been manancing you and threatening you. I cannot say that a restraining order does much, it didn't with my case, it does give you, however, a little bit more of a legal leg to stand on. Your best bet is to file assault and harassment charges on him, he will have to answer those in a court of law and they will affect not only his present job but future ones. This might settle him down a bit. My major concern is to why your dad gives him a key, is he afraid of him? Ask your dad NOW! Good luck.

If you can get proof of his outrageous behavior its going to help, by having a video running to tape him next time he calls.

Do not put yourself at risk though.

Get an injunction to prevent him from coming to your home or approaching you.

Access and Maintenance for the child are separate issues, although I would imagine he is not going to think they are.

The more proof that you have the better and ask the court if his wages can be garnished to protect you form possible harm.

You have the right to call the Police if he is doing this to you as its not in the best interests of your daughter to witness these kind of assaults he may very have the contact with the children stopped.

Its a shame you dont have independent witnesses to the events but in the meantime call the Police if you feel threatened by him.