Adoption from foster care?

I'm adopting my 15 yr old goddaughter who has been living with me for a year. Her incarcerated mother's parental rights were just terminated & now they want me to legally adopt her. Ok, fine, but I'm not comfortable with some of the invasive questions they ask - what is the policy on confidentiality? If I tell them my income, which is a matter of record, why should I tell them how much other money I have? Why do I need to hire a lawyer just to do paperwork? What's a lawyer for? They are asking ME to adopt - other than I love her & she needs me, what benefit is there to me? I KNOW why they want it - so they don't have to be responsible anymore - they do not pay me anything now as it is!I'm a non-relative and not licensed - they asked me to take her - no one else could or would! I'm so sick of the intrusions!

You are doing a very wonderful and noble action by adopting this child but don't forget, what goes around, comes around. That's especially true for loving and generous behavior. You will reap many benefits by welcoming this child into your family.

I speak from experience as I adopted my foster son when his birth mom gave him up. I never wanted to adopt, I had started fostering because I felt so guilty about so many children without a safe home. I thought I could help one or two children out and then be able to better enjoy my own safe and prosperous lifestyle. Then, b-mom was found and decided she could not give this child a decent life and gave up her rights. I will never stop thanking her for that selfless decision! The social workers asked me to adopt. I couldn't face the idea of tossing this babe back into the social care system even though I never thought I wanted to be a permanent mom.

Now, almost 12 years later, I cannot begin to tell you how my son has enriched my life and brought me happiness I never expected. Yes, we have many issues - what family does not? I can't retire - too many regular and extraordinary expenses! But these issues are trivial compared to the joy of seeing him grow and develop into such a wonderful young man! When people say that my son is lucky, I always reply that I'm the lucky one!

Yes, the adoption officials are asking intrusive questions, but that's part of the adoption process. I hope you can just go with the flow and give them the info they need to make the adoption final. And I wish you as much joy with your adopted daughter as I have had with my adopted son.

The Foster care program is broken badly. I was going to adopt but the Foster system drug their feet and redundancy became the norm. It could have gone smoothly but it took over a year. By the time it came close to the day of adoption. The child, who had already been passed around and forgotten over the years, lost her will and hope and the adoption was stopped. Where this poor kid is now is any-ones guess. The Foster care system can handle the legal fees because it is to their benefit to find her a permanent home. They should also have you on record as a Foster parent. They need to be investigated.

You need a lawyer because the paper work is very complicated and they have to file petitions in the court.You could ask for a court appointed attorney to offset the cost. The questions they ask are incredibly invasive, but it's because they want to make sure they are putting the best interest of the child. The information you provide to them will remain confidential in their agency. I know how you feel, when we became licensed foster parents they pulled crimminal records from our teen years! But if you want to adopt your god daughter, you have to run the gautnlet. Good luck!

I here you. But why don't you just continue to foster her until she becomes of age. Whether you adopt her or not, at some point she is going to leave you to go back to her parents, then what, you are just a name on a piece of paper. I am not sure, but don't the Children Aid Society (that is what we call it in Canada) continued to visit just to make sure the child is doing OK, so your life will continued to be invasive. And once you adopt, the agency no longer gives you financial support? Here in Canada, as long as the child is in the system, they get a clothing allowance, extra money for Christmas, collage paid for, dental, etc. Don't rush into things. This is permanent and can't back away once the papers are signed. Are you on good terms with the child's birth parents, because they are going to be a constant in your life no matter what. I believe the child is already in a good home, because like you said, you love her and she does need you, will that change after the adoption. Good luck to you, whatever choice you make will be the right one for both of you.

ok heres the thing...the law governing children is made up of something called the welfare principle which states that all decisions should be made in the best interests of the child. therefore the reason why they asked you to adopt her is because she has been living with you for a year the law hesitates to remove children from a stable environment and place them some where strange unless the child has to move because the might be subjected to harm.....she has made a home with you she has become settled and apparently she is a safe environment so you woulf fit the position to adopt her. secondly in that space of a year it is likely that your god daughter has become attached to you another reason why they would prefer you to adopt her. as for the questions its necessary...they need to make sure that you a in fact capable of taking care of her and could financially support her.... the lawyer you also need ...without him then the adoption would not be legal..he needs to draw up paper work and get it signed and approved by the courts and unfortunately only a lawyer can do that. unfortunately they can ask you anything or do anythng as long as it is in the best interests of your god daughter thats thier duty given to them by law and the courts or no one else can challenge thier decisions on what to ask or require...so you would have to put up with it till everything is finished but there is no legal remedy, legal action that can be taken against a local authority